Ha ha! Don't mistake me from CrimsonRash... I only really wrote one story myself, WORKED OUT, and edited and revised the other based on his original work.

I just like one sided fights; when appropriate; I like the idea of someone being humbled, or undone by their own hubris. I like the idea of one definitive winner; an overwhelmingly superior opponent in either strength, skill, or sexual dominance. It's a niche of the fetish that doesn't appeal to a lot of people because it can too easily move into just straight abuse or torture. Handled just right though... I find it very hot for one girl to revel in her power and embrace her dominance; while the other falls into despair, humiliation, and self pity.

You handled that pretty well in your story, and you kept it open for a sequel, which is always good. Like I said, a solid first effort, if short. My personal aesthetic is to build up the story; really build it up and raise the emotional involvement to create a more immersive experience. It depends on the amount of time and effort you want to spend. A little more work to flesh this out, and you've have a really solid story. But that's really just down to personal aesthetic. All the relevant information is there; good work.